YOU already met the man captivates. It felt, was another step toward marriage. But, are you sure when he'll be one forever and can make you happy?
Talks about the celebrity wedding rift increasingly widely in the media. Even Sandra Bullock and Kate Winslet are stories for this marriage is fine, also experienced such cases.
How could a woman can enter into a covenant of eternal love in front of family and friends, then feel wrong to marry him?
Fear of marriage will end in divorce may haunt your mind. However, experts say you can protect yourself from these fears by evaluating pre-marital relationships based on several important elements.
"There are ways that can really provide an assessment of whether a man is worthy to marry you and reduce your chances of choosing the wrong partner," said marriage and family therapist Terri Orbuch, PhD, professor of sociology at the University of Michigan.
"Taking into consideration these points will help you understand whether you and he have the same basic values and whether you will marry for the right reasons," he added.
Experts reveal some key factors you should consider before making the designation soulmate on the him. Here, as exposed Cosmopolitan.
Do not ignore his past
Is there a history of the life he's unpleasant for you? Even when he found out, you must decide whether to continue the relationship or break up. If there is, chances are the old habits will be re-done.
"The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior," says Orbuch.
If he did things in the past that did not meet the standards of your ideal husband, ask him to explain why doing so. If he gave a reason related to the particular circumstances that no longer apply (for example, he often into a nightclub for staying with a cousin in college abroad), could be a sign of temporary berifat behavior.
But if the past is easy trigger action comes after you are married (eg, he often to nightclubs because of stress), could mean that habit will always be a part of him.
Understand the quality you need
It is important if you can fascinated by the qualities of the sweetheart, without ignoring its shortcomings.
"I tell my clients to draw a large circle and small circles. They have to fill a small circle with four or five qualities of personality that really they syaratkan of a husband, such as religion, family, or money," says Lombardo.
"Then, they fill a large circle with the other attitudes are classified as good, if owned by a husband. You have to find a life partner with such quality in a small circle and some of the big circle, not the other way," he added.
When you check the quality of his personality, also consider whether their shortcomings will be able to handle later. For example, you are glad that he had a good career as a consultant, but the consequences he had to travel a lot outside of town. Whether you can accept it?
If you have many friends, may not be a problem, but if you are a woman home who prefer to pass a weekend day to curl up on the couch with your partner, you may not be pleased with the solitude.
Frustrations can occur
Future dreams turn your days with him. "But, remember that you're married now, not a chance that he one day," says couples therapist Jennifer Gauvain, who also co-author of How Not to Marry the Wrong Guy.
"It's nice to be interested in passion, because it will remain consistent, but do not attach or financial interest in a career," he added.
"This is key because of frustration arising from the difference between what you expect with the reality that you have. Frustration one of the main sources of unhappiness in marriage," says Orbuch.
And if your quest to drive financial concerns of the prospective husband, this possibility will turn later on. Affirmed Gauvain, a desire to feel financially secure is one of the main reasons women choose the wrong man.
"Many women have told me that they are interested to get married because they feel powerless (for love) and thought shared revenue will help in the future," he said.
"But on the other hand, not a few wealthy couples who are not happy," said Lombardo.
Know your family's habits
The next consideration is the proximity to family. Her extended family will play a role in your life after marriage. For that, you both need a compromise.
"You do not need to love their families, but you need to have the same views about how much you both will involve them in their married life. Understand the tradition of his family and how often he and his family communicate with each other. The important thing is, you have to prioritize each other first, "said Gauvain.
Chemistry is important!
After talking about shared values, do not forget the old truth, that you need for a spark.
"In uncertain economic situation, it is easy for women to say that stability is more important than attractiveness. But you need chemistry to be happy relationship," said Gauvain.
"Getting married means that you both become more than just friends," says Lombardo.
One spark was the sex life. "Great sex does not quite eliminate the problem in the marriage, but it could really become the foundation for the relationship during difficult times."
According to a study of University of Washington, the couple laughed and smiled as they described how their initial meeting, a statistically reduce the likelihood of divorce.
Talks about the celebrity wedding rift increasingly widely in the media. Even Sandra Bullock and Kate Winslet are stories for this marriage is fine, also experienced such cases.
How could a woman can enter into a covenant of eternal love in front of family and friends, then feel wrong to marry him?
Fear of marriage will end in divorce may haunt your mind. However, experts say you can protect yourself from these fears by evaluating pre-marital relationships based on several important elements.
"There are ways that can really provide an assessment of whether a man is worthy to marry you and reduce your chances of choosing the wrong partner," said marriage and family therapist Terri Orbuch, PhD, professor of sociology at the University of Michigan.
"Taking into consideration these points will help you understand whether you and he have the same basic values and whether you will marry for the right reasons," he added.
Experts reveal some key factors you should consider before making the designation soulmate on the him. Here, as exposed Cosmopolitan.
Do not ignore his past
Is there a history of the life he's unpleasant for you? Even when he found out, you must decide whether to continue the relationship or break up. If there is, chances are the old habits will be re-done.
"The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior," says Orbuch.
If he did things in the past that did not meet the standards of your ideal husband, ask him to explain why doing so. If he gave a reason related to the particular circumstances that no longer apply (for example, he often into a nightclub for staying with a cousin in college abroad), could be a sign of temporary berifat behavior.
But if the past is easy trigger action comes after you are married (eg, he often to nightclubs because of stress), could mean that habit will always be a part of him.
Understand the quality you need
It is important if you can fascinated by the qualities of the sweetheart, without ignoring its shortcomings.
"I tell my clients to draw a large circle and small circles. They have to fill a small circle with four or five qualities of personality that really they syaratkan of a husband, such as religion, family, or money," says Lombardo.
"Then, they fill a large circle with the other attitudes are classified as good, if owned by a husband. You have to find a life partner with such quality in a small circle and some of the big circle, not the other way," he added.
When you check the quality of his personality, also consider whether their shortcomings will be able to handle later. For example, you are glad that he had a good career as a consultant, but the consequences he had to travel a lot outside of town. Whether you can accept it?
If you have many friends, may not be a problem, but if you are a woman home who prefer to pass a weekend day to curl up on the couch with your partner, you may not be pleased with the solitude.
Frustrations can occur
Future dreams turn your days with him. "But, remember that you're married now, not a chance that he one day," says couples therapist Jennifer Gauvain, who also co-author of How Not to Marry the Wrong Guy.
"It's nice to be interested in passion, because it will remain consistent, but do not attach or financial interest in a career," he added.
"This is key because of frustration arising from the difference between what you expect with the reality that you have. Frustration one of the main sources of unhappiness in marriage," says Orbuch.
And if your quest to drive financial concerns of the prospective husband, this possibility will turn later on. Affirmed Gauvain, a desire to feel financially secure is one of the main reasons women choose the wrong man.
"Many women have told me that they are interested to get married because they feel powerless (for love) and thought shared revenue will help in the future," he said.
"But on the other hand, not a few wealthy couples who are not happy," said Lombardo.
Know your family's habits
The next consideration is the proximity to family. Her extended family will play a role in your life after marriage. For that, you both need a compromise.
"You do not need to love their families, but you need to have the same views about how much you both will involve them in their married life. Understand the tradition of his family and how often he and his family communicate with each other. The important thing is, you have to prioritize each other first, "said Gauvain.
Chemistry is important!
After talking about shared values, do not forget the old truth, that you need for a spark.
"In uncertain economic situation, it is easy for women to say that stability is more important than attractiveness. But you need chemistry to be happy relationship," said Gauvain.
"Getting married means that you both become more than just friends," says Lombardo.
One spark was the sex life. "Great sex does not quite eliminate the problem in the marriage, but it could really become the foundation for the relationship during difficult times."
According to a study of University of Washington, the couple laughed and smiled as they described how their initial meeting, a statistically reduce the likelihood of divorce.
